| Read this article in Spanish |
The day that Amanda Royle decided to go and speak
to her son Steven's teacher about his spelling was a scary one. The last time
Mary had been in school, apart from a couple of crowded Parents' Evenings, was
when she was at school herself as a child. The memories flooded in . . . the bullying
. . being told off by the teachers . . . the day she skipped school and was found
out . . . appearing before the school principal. . .
She questioned
whether this was the right thing to do. Would the teachers give Steven a hard
time because his mom had complained? The other mothers didn't seem to be going
up to the school. Would she be the only one? Would Steven be embarrassed? Who
should she ask to see, anyway? Should she telephone or write a letter? What was
the procedure? Why had she left it so long? She should have gone when Steven was
younger . . .
The decision to visit your child's school is a hard one
for all parents. However, with good planning, the visit can turn out to be the
best thing you ever did for your child. The difficulty is that, if nothing is
done, the school can feel that the child's parents never bother to visit to discuss
his or her work. Meanwhile, the parents often feel too anxious to go to the school.
The child ends up being caught in between and continues to struggle without proper
support.
What would be the best possible scenario for Amanda Royle and her
son Steven? It would be one in which Amanda enjoys good relationships with the
school, and Steven benefits by having his needs met and understood by both parties.
As a dyslexic learner, he will be fully supported at school, and his family will
provide him with the help he needs to keep up with his peers.
This is
the scenario that we would all like to see for our child, and Amanda will have
to take a deep breath and write that note if she is to make this scenario happen
for Steven.
Who to contact at the school is a tricky one. While Steven's
class teacher or tutor is Amanda's immediate link with the school, Steven will
have a different teacher next year. The person who will know Steven over the long
term is the school principal or head teacher), or in the case of a large school,
the teacher who is in charge of the learning of pupils with special needs.
It is easiest for Amanda to think that she will drop in one day when school
ends, and have a quick word with the teacher. Unfortunately, many parents have
tried this tactic, only to find themselves quickly back at the school gate after
re-assurances in the school corridor from a teacher anxious not to be late for
a meeting. Back home, those re-assurances that your child "has a few problems
but will soon improve with a little more effort" do not seem to solve the parent's
problem! Steven, meanwhile, is asking: "What did you say to my teacher, mum?"
The only solution is for Amanda to do things properly. This means a
letter to the principal/head teacher. (Not a phone call, where the over-zealous
school secretary can leap into her role of protecting the principal from anxious
parents!) Polite, but firm, Amanda's letter requests an appointment during the
day (when Steven is in class) to discuss her concerns about his progress. It will
help if both parents can attend. On the day of the meeting, Amanda makes a low-key
remark to Steven that she has arranged to see his principal today to have a chat
about how he is getting on in school. She asks Steven if there is anything he
would like her to say, but at this stage he is a bit uncertain. Story
continues . . .
John Bradford
1999 |  |
